Destacada

stray cat

walking with no direction

no clear idea of where to go

maybe i’ll stay here for a while, but never for long

i pop up every now and then,

people say you’re fun to be around

they never want to leave

but at the end of the day

you get back to the streets

it’s getting a bit lonely,

either way i have no other choice but to get used to the feeling

i’ll always be here to help you, and we both now, once you’re alright,

you wouldn’t want me back into your life

don’t worry about me

i’m just going to be her for a couple of chapters

never the full book

Cordolium

“(n). heartfelt grief; sorrow of the heart, heartache”

from: Wiktionary, The Free Dictionary.

he saw her walking away, 

a small figure became blurry every time he blinked, 

he wanted to shout,

to run to her and just say

“please stay”

instead he stood there, 

waiting for her figure to disappear, 

so he could whisper

“stay”

while holding back his tears,

because he knew she wouldn’t be back.

The girl with green eyes

It was the second day you showed up. I became interested in you, you didn’t look like anyone in that place, I think that’s what caught my attention.

I tried to get close to you, as much as I could, but I was so scared, there was a part of me that couldn’t accept it, even if we could only be friends.

I saw you directly into your eyes, they were green, like a light green, sometimes I could see them blue, but a light blue, looking like the color of the sky every now and then, your pupils were dilated and you smiled, I couldn’t stop smiling. Did I only want to be your friend or more?

I hate myself for not forcing me to talk to you, but either way I couldn’t date you, because I saw her sitting with you outside the theater, I saw your pictures with her. It was that time I realized you had a girlfriend, and my heart broke into pieces, but I’m happy for you, you’re happy with someone else, and seeing you happy makes my day.

¿Cómo?

cómo le digo a alguien que siento que no le importo sin que se enoje?

cómo devuelvo el tiempo y hago todo lo que siempre quise hacer sin sentirme mal?

cómo encuentro a alguien que quiera escuchar?

cómo puedo callar esa voz en mi cabeza que es tan mala conmigo?

cómo puedo pedir ayuda sin sentirme mal?

cómo hago para disfrutar la vida y no sentir que estoy perdiendo el tiempo?

cómo te explico mis sentimientos si siento 10 cosas en un minuto?

cómo te puedo decir cómo estoy si no muestras interés en ello?

cómo vuelvo a nacer? en otra vida, en otro cuerpo

cómo dejo de odiarme por sentir tanto?

cómo dejo de fingir que todo va bien si solo quiero arrancarme el corazón?

cómo puedo olvidarme de todo y empezar desde cero?

que ya no puedo más

Dear Ivar

why would you want to be with me? Someone who has a lot of shit on her mind, I’m nothing special, then why me?

I’m afraid to be a burden for you, I love you so much, so much I don’t want you to take care of me when things get ruff, I know we’ll be together, but why me? when there’s a lot of girls who have their shit together and I don’t.

I love you, but why me?

i am the problem

i am the one who doesn’t wanna open up

im the one who won’t talk about their feelings

im the one who pushes everyone away

im the won’t who can’t say what they want

im the one who can’t accept gifts

im the one who won’t text back

or say what’s going on in her life

or talk about what’s wrong

i am the problem

and i don’t know how to fix me

Yuanfen

i knew it was you

from the first moment i saw you

i couldn’t get my eyes off you

then you came to say hi

and we stayed all night together

i didn’t know you

i barely knew your name

but i knew it was you,

only you

and i was right

a night we met and i fell

i was hoping to see you soon

hoping for you to talk to me

i wanted to spend time with you, but didn’t know how to tell you

but when we did, that was the best moment in my life

and so i knew i was in love

actually in love

for the first time ever

and i don’t regret that,

i would do it all over again if i had to

and enjoy every second of meeting once again

nostalgia

nostalgia

you’re just a memory i sometimes go and visit

just to feel nostalgic, or happy, or sad,

or whatever i’m trying to feel that day

it’s a fun little game i like to play with myself

sometimes i want to feel loved

so i’ll go back to those memories where you said the loveliest things i’ve ever heard

maybe you were lying, or maybe you were telling the truth

i’ll never know that, and you’ll never tell me

sometimes i want to feel nostalgic

so i’ll go back to the memories of us eating ice cream and you telling me everything going on in your life

and in someone else’s life

or when we used to go to your place to play video games until i had to leave

it’s funny, you know

i kept saying i don’t need anyone

when that was clearly a lie

i won’t ever admit it

but i’ll always need you by my side

even if you’re not here anymore

even when i’m talking about multiple people

but i’ll need you

i’ll need anyone

because i can’t keep doing this on my own

People person

i think i finally understand

i’m not a people person

i’m a lonely person

after wishing to have someone by my side all the time

to have a group of friends and do things that friends do

to have a friend that you’re their number one

and they’re your number one

even when that’s my dream

i know, i’m a lonely person

after people leaving

and being done with this shit

i realized

i’m a lonely person

even though i wish i wasn’t

i woke up, by a light shining thought a hole

trying to open a box with my fingernails

digging them into the wood

a little bit of blood is seeking through

the box opened, letting the light hit my face

there’s three men on the boat,

one of them leading and the other ones looking around

i sat down on a box, looking around at the sea

“am i dreaming?” i asked

“never in a million years life is going to be as nice to you as dreams” the oldest one said

they started singing a song, that somehow i knew

i closed my eyes

just to wake up by a light shining through a hole

this time it was the moon

hugging me, letting me know I was safe

as they threw me off the boat

to the ocean

as i became one with the ocean